searching

I started searching (a while ago)… what I was searching for? I did not know. But I was searching. And I searched high and I searched low, wondering why I didn’t find what I was looking for. One day I stopped in my way. And decided what I was looking for didn’t exist for me. And I stayed in a city called Comfort and it all seemed ok.

Until one day I realized that it’s not really ok to stay in Comfort. It’s numbing. And it’s a rut. And it’s dull and uninteresting. And I want out.

I want to leave this town and go see the world. I wanna meet new people and discover new places. I want to try new things and take photos. I want to experience each day differently. At least for a while. I want to see breathtaking places and I want to meet cool people.

So I’m taking little steps and for now I’m learning about the mysteries of Myself and enjoying the incredible views it has.

So I board this train and we’ll see were it goes. We’ll see new landscapes and meet new Me’s.

For now that’s it… I’ll see you along the way. 😉

Thoughts of the day

Life is a bit like today… Sunny on one side, storm-ready on the other, with bumps on the road, with smiles and sadness, on the run…
But even storms have their purpose. They clean and reinvigorate, they wash away the stuff that doesn’t serve anymore, the useless, the broken things. They make you stronger. And at the end there’s always rainbows… And fresh air and sun… And new perspectives ahead 😉

Have you?

Have you paid attention today?
Have you paid attention to the sun playing with the clouds (or fighting them), to the multitude of birds looking for fresh food, to the children in the street running, enjoying the time out in, to the sad look on the homelesses man face smocking (maybe) his last cigarette, to the disgusted look on the face of the old woman who just past you or the bed some homeless has made under some stairs just in your neborhood? Have you seen the spring coming? Have you notice how the clouds move and how they change color? Have you noticed the thoughts that passed your mind while you where strolling the streets this afternoon? Or the people you passed by? Have you noticed how you change day by day and yet you seem to stay the same? Or how everything around you changes everyday, bit by bit? Have you noticed how nature celebrates spring? Have you heard the songs the birds sing? Have you notice any of that? Anything at all? Have you?

image

prin unghere

Wow… au trecut ceva luni de cand n-am mai trecut pe aici… S-a asternut praful prin unghere, iar paianjenii au tesut panze pe care picaturile de roua se joaca cu razele de soare … Azi m-am gandit sa trec pe aici… e soare si totul pare vechi si familiar… si cumva e. Doar ca gandurile mele, odata asternute pe „hartie” nu mai sunt ale mele. Sunt ale celui care le citeste. Asa ca, azi ma simt oarecum stinghera sa vin aici dupa atata timp, ca un musafir nepoftit. Ma surprind valsand usor cu melancolia. Incep sa ma las in ritmurile muzicii de vals iar lumea se invarte ametitor in jurul meu. Ma opresc brusc si zaresc intr-un cotlon licuriciul care mi-a tinut companie ultima data. E la fel de vesel si neobosit ca atunci. Si-mi aduc aminte de toate dansurile si povestile noastre…. hmmm … pare atat de departe vremea aceea… Dar timpul trece, adunam amintiri pe care le depozitam in diverse sertare si pe care ne amintim sa le mai scoatem de la naftalina din cand in cand (bineinteles daca ne convin). Ma gandeam sa sterg praful. Dar imi aduc aminte un text citit mai demult si ma razgandesc. Asa pot sa … pot sa-mi declar fericirea si aici… aici, in cel mai ascuns colt al sufletului. Da, voi scrie pe mobila asta veche si plina de praf. „Iubesc viata”, „Iubesc oamenii din jurul meu”, „Iubesc natura si fiecare zi perfecta din viata mea” … „Iubesc perfectiunea universului si imperfectiunea oamenilor”, „iubesc… pur si simplu”. 
Undeva afara se aude muzica in surdina. Gradina din fata geamului imi face cu ochiul, asa ca plec din nou. Mai arunc o privire peste ultimele sosite aici – amintiri frumoase, si mai putin frumoase… si declaratiile de pe mobila. Il caut pe licurici, si ii incredintez din nou aceasta camaruta mica si prafuita. Si plec. Inchid usa in urma mea. Si agat cheia langa usa. Asa stiu ca pot reveni oricand si, de data asta, imi asum riscul ca poate va intra si altcineva. 
Mi-aduc aminte de muzica din gradina… Primesc o noua invitatie la dans, in momentul in care fac primul pas in gradina. Si ma las purtata de muzica, in timp ce soarele se joaca prin parul meu, si-mi sopteste ca viata … e frumoasa… viata e muzica … si dans, si stropi de ploaie, zambete si jocuri de copii. Viata e un curcubeu nesfarsit de care trebuie sa ne bucuram. Asa ca zambesc. Zambesc oamenilor care s-au strans in jurul meu in aceasta gradina superba pentru ca imi admira dansul. Zambesc gradinii, pentru ca imi da voie sa ma bucur aici de viata. Zambesc pentru ca muzica imi tine companie de fiecare data si oriunde ma duc. Zambesc copacilor si norilor, pentru ca-mi sunt complici de fiecare data. Zambesc pentru ca a zambi e molipsitor. Pentru ca a zambi seama cu o raza de soare. Zambesc … si iubesc.

Quanto t’ho Amato (Roberto Benigni)

Se tu mi avessi chiesto: „Come stai?”
se tu mi avessi chiesto: „mi hai pensato?”
t’avrei risposto „bene, certo sai”
ti parlo però senza fiato
mi perdo nel tuo sguardo colossale,
la stella polare sei tu mi sfiori e ridi no, cosi non vale
non parlo e se non parlo poi sto male 

Quanto t’ho amato e quanto t’amo non lo sai
e non lo sai perchè non te l’ho detto mai
anche se resto in silenzio, tu lo capisci da te 
Quanto t’ho amato e quanto t’amo non lo sai
non l’ho mai detto e non te lo dirò mai
nell’amor le parole non contano conta la musica. 

Se tu mi avessi chiesto: „Che si fa?”
se tu mi avessi chiesto dove andiamo
t’avrei risposto dove il vento va
le nuvole fanno un ricamo
mi piove sulla testa un temporale
il cielo nascosto sei tu ma poi svanisce in mezzo alle parole
per questo io non parlo e poi sto male 

Quanto t’ho amato e quanto t’amo non lo sai
e non lo sai perchè non te l’ho detto mai
anche se resto in silenzio, tu lo capisci da te 
Quanto t’ho amato e quanto t’amo non lo sai
non l’ho mai detto e non te lo dirò mai
nell’amor le parole non contano conta la musica. 

Quanto t’ho amato e quanto t’amo non lo sai
non l’ho mai detto ma un giorno capirai
nell’amor le parole non contano conta la musica

It’s about me

Today I realized that somewhere along the last period I have forgotten about me. What do I mean? I mean that I was so caught in being worried about day to day things that I forgot to take care of me. I was so preocuppied with dealing with daily stuff and pleasing everybody around me, that I forgot something important. I forgot about me. I lost track of myself. I forgot to relax, to pamper myself, to enjoy myself.
But today I remembered and (re)decided to change that. I decided to take better care of myself and try to always impress myself no matter what I do and where I am. I mean, lately I’ve been kind of lazy in taking care of myself and doing stuff that I enjoy and that makes me feel good. The truth is I learned not to care about others’ opinion about me, but I had forgotten how good it feels to feel good in your own skin, to enjoy what you see in the mirror, to hear compliments and enjoy the looks others give you (especially other women). It feels great to know that you impress someone when they see you, but it’s even better the feeling of feeling good with yourself.
So, from now on, no more getting out of the house looking like a mess just because I didn’t have time to make myself look good. No more wasting time and being bored, when there’s so much stuff to do, so many things to learn and to enjoy. There are so many nail polish colors and shades of makeup to try, and so many recipes to learn and try,  and so many things that are waiting to be photographed and so many other things that are waiting to be made. And I want to impress myself every time I pass by a mirror or a glass door and feel confidend about myself no matter what I do.
So, Carpe diem! and smile and love yourself 😉